As 2014 rolls into the new year, I know you will be partaking in the timeless tradition of forging a list of planned improvements for 2015. While I understand that you already have an overwhelming number of options to choose from, I would like to provide you with a list of suggestions for your New Year’s resolutions. No need to thank me, the pleasure is all mine.
Practically perfect already,
Options For Your New Year’s Resolutions
- I firmly resolve to never again place Lou’s food on top of the x-ray table.
- I promise that I will stop bringing the dogs to work.
- I will never put any ear cleaner in Lou’s ears (not even a little). Lou’s ears are clean and perfect, just like the rest of him.
- I will endeavor to ensure that Lou’s food bowl remains full at all times. Completely full.
- I will invest my life savings in a lifetime supply of catnip for Lou.
- I resolve to enhance Lou’s quality of life by doubling the number of napping baskets in the clinic over the month of January, and quadrupling it by this summer.
- I promise to never again wake Lou from a nap.
- I will provide continuous scratching under Lou’s chin, but only (ONLY!) when it is requested of me.
- I resolve to never again dispose of a box without Lou’s permission.
- I solemnly swear to serve Lou, and only Lou, as long as we both shall live.