Be My Valentine

Dear Human,

You may have heard through the grapevine that Valentines Day is the feast of St. Valentine which is observed on February 14th of every year. This is rubbish; merely a story invented to detract from the true meaning of Valentines Day. Valentines Day (like most holidays), actually originated as a form of worship to cats. I mean, think about it – Valentines Day is about hearts, love, acceptance, and catnip. Who should you have more love and catnip in your heart for other than your very own beloved cat? I rest my case.

On this day of worship I shall be expecting all manor of gifts, and I’ve even dressed up for the occasion.


In case you are feeling uninspired, I shall provide a list of gifts which would be acceptable.

  1. Catnip
  2. More Napping Baskets
  3. Flowers
  4. Catnip
  5. Naps
  6. Mice (the kind that don’t run too fast, as this is a day for relaxation)
  7. String (and lots of it)
  8. Catnip
  9. A Dog-Free Day
  10. Lots of Food (on the floor, not the xray table)
  11. Boxes
  12. An Acceleration to Spring (so I can enjoy my plotting walks outside)
  13. Fuzzy Blankets
  14. Catnip

I will be waiting patiently for your offerings.






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