Making Amends

Dear Human,

When in doubt it’s always best to give someone the cold shoulder and withhold all affection, just to make sure they really know you’re angry.

After displaying outward disdain for a week, my staff did leave me an offering of flowers.

Lou

Flowers, BAH. They’re alright, I guess. I mean, they smell good. I just feel like they could have put a little more effort into this. For example, a tshirt that reads, “My staff betrayed me and all I got was this stupid shirt” would have exemplified at least mild effort and creativity.

If they were really set on the flower theme I feel that roses would have been a better option. Red of course, to symbolize the deep love that I know they must still have for me.

flowers and wine
The wine would be nice as well

I also would have accepted cake.

sorry cake
“Sorry I betrayed you and I will forever be in your debt” would also be appropriate.

Any cake would have been fine, that’s just a suggestion. Then I could be as happy as this cat eating cake. Except happier, because my cake would be a symbol of human groveling and repentance.

cake cat

Maybe I should make a cake too, as a hint. My cake would look like this.

litter cake
I think this adequately expresses my feelings for you all

These are all just suggestions and I encourage you to use your own creative freedoms. However, if you think simple flowers are enough of a peace offering you have another think coming.

Looking forward to your future attempts,

Lou

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Making Amends

  1. Flowers? Terrible. Might I suggest you eat them and then vomit in strategic locations throughout the office? That will show them what you think of their half-hearted attempt!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s