Lounging Like A Boss

Dear Human,

As we head into September we are faced with the hustle and bustle of young humans heading back to school and the inevitable return of cold weather praying that the cold weather will never come.

I myself have been enjoying these lazy summer days, and in keeping with the spirit of learning I’m willing to share some tips with you. Just this once.

Lou’s Edicts For Better Lounging

  • Find A Shady Spot: the absolute key to relaxation is comfort, and in order to be comfortable one must seek to maintain just the right temperature. In the winter months this requires demanding fleece blankets, which is quite simple. During the summer time you will find that there is a slightly larger array of options. For instance, lounging directly in front of the fan can be a great source of enjoyment. However, the best resources to keep in mind are the staff vehicles. They provide cooling shade as well as privacy, which makes them the perfect covert and comfortable spot to monitor your surroundings. “But Lou,” I can hear you protesting, “Surely you must worry about being so well hidden that your staff mistakenly runs you over!” Pfffftt. As if they would dare to do such a thing. We all know who really controls the comings and goings around here.

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  • Bring Adequate Snacks: my preferred method is pestering the receptionist until she provides an assortment of goodies for me. However, if that method ever fails there is no need to worry. Food will often just present itself to you when you need it.
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Lou vs. Mouse
  • Keep The Things You Enjoy Nearby: everyone needs a little entertainment now and again. The trick is to avoid putting too much energy into your toys and games. Ideally, you should be able to engage with the objects of your desire without ever having to move from your lounging position. If there isn’t anything to your liking nearby, meow loudly until someone brings you something more worthwhile.

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  • Utilize Your Staff: for example, below I can be seen wearing a number of fairly snazzy accessories. While I enjoy looking fabulous I don’t believe in taking time away from relaxation to adorn myself with such things when I have others who can do it for me. The technique I use is to lay on top of or next to the objects I desire. I then look forlornly at the nearest human until I have convinced them that I am desperately in need of assistance. Their nurturing instincts will take over and they will then diligently attend to my needs.

Lou Leashed And Unleashed

  • Keep Your Back To The Crowds: some days the weather conspires against me and it’s just not possible to sneak out doors for some solitude. On those days I find the front desk to be an adequately comfortable lounging location. However, this area can become quite loud and over run with humans. The best way to discourage others from disrupting you is to send a clear signal that you are above them, and have no wish to talk.

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These are just a few of the methods you can use to enhance your lounging experience. You’re welcome.

More comfortable than ever,

Lou

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