Lounging Like A Boss

Dear Human,

As we head into September we are faced with the hustle and bustle of young humans heading back to school and the inevitable return of cold weather praying that the cold weather will never come.

I myself have been enjoying these lazy summer days, and in keeping with the spirit of learning I’m willing to share some tips with you. Just this once.

Lou’s Edicts For Better Lounging

  • Find A Shady Spot: the absolute key to relaxation is comfort, and in order to be comfortable one must seek to maintain just the right temperature. In the winter months this requires demanding fleece blankets, which is quite simple. During the summer time you will find that there is a slightly larger array of options. For instance, lounging directly in front of the fan can be a great source of enjoyment. However, the best resources to keep in mind are the staff vehicles. They provide cooling shade as well as privacy, which makes them the perfect covert and comfortable spot to monitor your surroundings. “But Lou,” I can hear you protesting, “Surely you must worry about being so well hidden that your staff mistakenly runs you over!” Pfffftt. As if they would dare to do such a thing. We all know who really controls the comings and goings around here.

image1

  • Bring Adequate Snacks: my preferred method is pestering the receptionist until she provides an assortment of goodies for me. However, if that method ever fails there is no need to worry. Food will often just present itself to you when you need it.
20150727_075827
Lou vs. Mouse
  • Keep The Things You Enjoy Nearby: everyone needs a little entertainment now and again. The trick is to avoid putting too much energy into your toys and games. Ideally, you should be able to engage with the objects of your desire without ever having to move from your lounging position. If there isn’t anything to your liking nearby, meow loudly until someone brings you something more worthwhile.

photo 3 (3)

  • Utilize Your Staff: for example, below I can be seen wearing a number of fairly snazzy accessories. While I enjoy looking fabulous I don’t believe in taking time away from relaxation to adorn myself with such things when I have others who can do it for me. The technique I use is to lay on top of or next to the objects I desire. I then look forlornly at the nearest human until I have convinced them that I am desperately in need of assistance. Their nurturing instincts will take over and they will then diligently attend to my needs.

Lou Leashed And Unleashed

  • Keep Your Back To The Crowds: some days the weather conspires against me and it’s just not possible to sneak out doors for some solitude. On those days I find the front desk to be an adequately comfortable lounging location. However, this area can become quite loud and over run with humans. The best way to discourage others from disrupting you is to send a clear signal that you are above them, and have no wish to talk.

IMG_1461

These are just a few of the methods you can use to enhance your lounging experience. You’re welcome.

More comfortable than ever,

Lou

Just Call Me Captain

Dear Human,

I know it’s been a while since I’ve provided you with an update, but I needed time to seethe and heal in the aftermath of the Pandora Debacle. Now that it’s been a while since she has shown her presence in my clinic, I find that I am slowly letting go of my anger and re-claiming my territory.

Lou Lounging
#Lounging

For starters, I have taken several comfortable naps in this basket of clean clothing that was brought in with my specific needs in mind. Fresh, soft, and lots of dark colors. I’ve never slept better.

Lou Laundry

I’ve also taken over this box as another source of napping coziness. Obviously it was brought here just for me because it’s a perfect fit.

IMG_1189

 

 

Much to my pleasure, the staff have also been presenting me with garments more suited to my elevated status here at PLVH. For starters, it has lifted my spirits greatly to be able to strut proudly in my captain’s cap.

Lou Navy

The second outfit is also appropriate, as I have long believed myself to be part lion. Unfortunately, my growth was somehow stunted at an early age and I never developed the mane or the golden color, but on the inside I am FIERCE.

IMG_1355

Now I can curl up in my basket at the end of a long day secure in the knowledge that all is as it should be once again.

IMG_1359 IMG_1572

Feeling Comforted,

Lou

Making Amends

Dear Human,

When in doubt it’s always best to give someone the cold shoulder and withhold all affection, just to make sure they really know you’re angry.

After displaying outward disdain for a week, my staff did leave me an offering of flowers.

Lou

Flowers, BAH. They’re alright, I guess. I mean, they smell good. I just feel like they could have put a little more effort into this. For example, a tshirt that reads, “My staff betrayed me and all I got was this stupid shirt” would have exemplified at least mild effort and creativity.

If they were really set on the flower theme I feel that roses would have been a better option. Red of course, to symbolize the deep love that I know they must still have for me.

flowers and wine
The wine would be nice as well

I also would have accepted cake.

sorry cake
“Sorry I betrayed you and I will forever be in your debt” would also be appropriate.

Any cake would have been fine, that’s just a suggestion. Then I could be as happy as this cat eating cake. Except happier, because my cake would be a symbol of human groveling and repentance.

cake cat

Maybe I should make a cake too, as a hint. My cake would look like this.

litter cake
I think this adequately expresses my feelings for you all

These are all just suggestions and I encourage you to use your own creative freedoms. However, if you think simple flowers are enough of a peace offering you have another think coming.

Looking forward to your future attempts,

Lou

Beyond Words

Dear Human,

I’m so enraged it is difficult to put paw to paper. As you know, I am normally quite eloquent but this situation has rendered me nearly speechless. I do not even know where to begin. Should I start with the blog stealing, the complete lack of attention and respect from my staff, or perhaps the preposterous conclusion that I might not like boxes as much as the little pipsqueak does? AS IF ANYONE COULD LOVE BOXES MORE THAN I DO!

lou magnificent
Do you really need proof?

Excuse me while I hyperventilate into this paper bag…

photo 4 (1)
I will be calm, I will be calm, I will be calm…

Does she not understand that PLVH is a one cat clinic? That I am the only cat who matters here? That I do not deign to keep company with her, boxes or not? DOES SHE REALLY NOT SEE IT?

photo 4 (1)
Calm. I am calm.

And to my traitorous staff – you have stabbed me in the back. I do not know if I can ever forgive you.

virginia
The Virginia state seal expresses my current sentiments perfectly. #EtTuBrute #RevengeIsNigh

You have a lot to make up for, and I’d like to see you try.

Hurt and Betrayed,

Lou

Pandora’s Box

Hello Humans!

My name is Pandora and I’m a 6 week old Domestic Shorthair. Because I was orphaned at only a day old I have been living with the PLVH staff ever since I can remember and it’s been great!

There’s a big white fluffy thing that lives here also. His name is Lou and I’ve been trying to make friends but all he does is hiss and run away. I think he might be shy. However, it’s thanks to him that I heard about this really cool thing called a blog! I’m still working on figuring out computers entirely, but I figured in the meantime Lou won’t mind if I borrow his blog.

meta kitten

A little bit about myself: I was born in a barn here in New Hampshire but I only have vague memories of that because I came to live at PLVH soon after. Here’s a picture of me during snack time when I was only about two weeks old. Don’t judge, I was having a bad hair day.

kitten

I also get a lot of baths while I’m here.

0522151130

Now that I’ve graduated from bottles to regular kitten food I get to have my own cage and toys. They even made special boxes for me! I thought Lou would want to share my boxes, but he seemed rather grumpy about the whole thing. Maybe he doesn’t enjoy boxes as much as I do?

06241520420624152043

Sometimes I get to play on the front desk as well. There are all kinds of strings and toys and funny gadgets there for me to enjoy. I also have a lot of soft, fuzzy toys. Here is a video of me at the front desk so you can see all of the fun things for yourself!

Sometimes Lou sits at the front desk as well, but he doesn’t seem to enjoy the toys as much as I do. He always leaves to go sit in the office when I’m playing with the stapler. He has no idea what he’s missing out on! Maybe I’ll go ask him again if he wants to share my boxes.

Until next time!

Love,

Pandora

Stolen Thunder

Dear Human,

I am displeased to have to alert you to the presence of another feline here at PLVH. She is a 3 week old orphan who… well, you don’t really care about that do you? Because we all know that the only feline who matters here at PLVH is me.

Much to my dismay, the humans have been jumping to attention at her every squawk. Something about how she needs to eat every two hours. Is she really that important?

kitten

No, stop looking at her. Don’t tell me she’s cute. We all know that I am the only magnificent feline here.

lou magnificent
Look at me! LOOK. AT. ME.

She doesn’t seem to have much use and she sleeps a lot.

kitten sleeping

I mean, look at her just lying there doing nothing. At least when I lay around I’m capable of holding many useful things.

lou with stuff
Who needs a kitten when you can have me?

And yet the fact of the matter is that this tiny feline has usurped me and now the question remains: how can I inspire the kind of attentiveness that she has managed to obtain? Is it the fact that she smells like milk and doesn’t know how to use the litter box? Or perhaps I should also cry loudly for feedings every two hours? Maybe I should assume more endearing napping positions? Whatever the solution may be, you can rest assured that I will find it.

2015-02-10_15-12-32_773 (1)
I hope you’re watching this.

Pondering A Solution,

Lou