Lounging Like A Boss

Dear Human,

As we head into September we are faced with the hustle and bustle of young humans heading back to school and the inevitable return of cold weather praying that the cold weather will never come.

I myself have been enjoying these lazy summer days, and in keeping with the spirit of learning I’m willing to share some tips with you. Just this once.

Lou’s Edicts For Better Lounging

  • Find A Shady Spot: the absolute key to relaxation is comfort, and in order to be comfortable one must seek to maintain just the right temperature. In the winter months this requires demanding fleece blankets, which is quite simple. During the summer time you will find that there is a slightly larger array of options. For instance, lounging directly in front of the fan can be a great source of enjoyment. However, the best resources to keep in mind are the staff vehicles. They provide cooling shade as well as privacy, which makes them the perfect covert and comfortable spot to monitor your surroundings. “But Lou,” I can hear you protesting, “Surely you must worry about being so well hidden that your staff mistakenly runs you over!” Pfffftt. As if they would dare to do such a thing. We all know who really controls the comings and goings around here.

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  • Bring Adequate Snacks: my preferred method is pestering the receptionist until she provides an assortment of goodies for me. However, if that method ever fails there is no need to worry. Food will often just present itself to you when you need it.
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Lou vs. Mouse
  • Keep The Things You Enjoy Nearby: everyone needs a little entertainment now and again. The trick is to avoid putting too much energy into your toys and games. Ideally, you should be able to engage with the objects of your desire without ever having to move from your lounging position. If there isn’t anything to your liking nearby, meow loudly until someone brings you something more worthwhile.

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  • Utilize Your Staff: for example, below I can be seen wearing a number of fairly snazzy accessories. While I enjoy looking fabulous I don’t believe in taking time away from relaxation to adorn myself with such things when I have others who can do it for me. The technique I use is to lay on top of or next to the objects I desire. I then look forlornly at the nearest human until I have convinced them that I am desperately in need of assistance. Their nurturing instincts will take over and they will then diligently attend to my needs.

Lou Leashed And Unleashed

  • Keep Your Back To The Crowds: some days the weather conspires against me and it’s just not possible to sneak out doors for some solitude. On those days I find the front desk to be an adequately comfortable lounging location. However, this area can become quite loud and over run with humans. The best way to discourage others from disrupting you is to send a clear signal that you are above them, and have no wish to talk.

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These are just a few of the methods you can use to enhance your lounging experience. You’re welcome.

More comfortable than ever,

Lou

It’s A Hard Knock Life

Dear Human,

It continues to snow in this corner of New Hampshire, and that means more clients are staying warm and cozy at home and keeping off the slippery roads. (Are you beginning to look forward to a time when I can bring you an update without mentioning snow, ice, sub zero temperatures, or frozen paws? You and me both.)

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I gaze out the window admiring the big, fat flakes swirling down from the sky with joy and … nope. I can’t even say it sarcastically with a straight face.

Moving on to my real sentiments…

I often catch myself gazing forlornly out the window and thinking of sunnier times.

NH meme

(www.facebook.com/MassachusettsMemes)

Ha. Ha. Ha. Get it?

Is it Summer yet?

Quiet times at the clinic mean office work, which I consider to be a necessary evil. I’d much rather lounge in my napping basket and be fawned over by a multitude of clients than have to catch up on paperwork and file my taxes.

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But life goes on, and sometimes you just have to take one for the team. *Sigh* Excuse me while I bury myself in filing cabinets for the next few hours.

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There better be a lot of catnip in this for me. A lot. Of catnip.

Completely Overworked,

Lou

PS Now Hiring: Office Manager

Oh the Weather Outside is Frightful

Dear Human,

Now that the holidays are over I find I have lost interest in this cold weather. It was cute and charming when we had a white Christmas, and I suppose the white (and frozen) New Year was an added bonus. However, now that there are no more presents and parties to look forward to I’ve lost patience with winter. Is it summer yet?

In case you aren’t aware, let me get you up to speed. The weather is dreadful here in this corner of New Hampshire, absolutely dreadful! It snows, and then it rains, and then it freezes and voila! The world becomes an ice skating rink. I cannot take my morning walk in these conditions!

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I know you are wondering, “Lou, what’s so important about your morning walk? Can’t you take a walk indoors instead?” I can see why you may think that’s an adequate alternative, but you are forgetting that the inside of the clinic is overrun with the clinic staff. Therefore, I take my morning walk outdoors to allow for plotting without being overheard some quiet time for each of us.

Word on the street is that it’s going to be a long winter so I’m going to have to come up with an appropriate plan B. I have noticed that some of the humans here have a warm and fuzzy outer layer that they sometimes remove and leave haphazardly around the clinic. I am currently working out whether or not they would miss one or two if they disappeared. This added layer would at least make my morning jaunt more bearable.

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There is constant cold, white fluff falling from the sky and it gets dark at an ungodly hour these days. All I want to do is plot in peace sun in my lanai! Is that so much to ask for?!

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Longing for Summer,

Lou