Dear Human,
It seems I have angered my staff. It’s really quite unfair because they have no reason to be upset with me. If anything, I should be the one upset regarding the grievous injustice that occurred last night. I reached out in my hour of need to those I thought I could trust and was completely ignored.
What does a cat need to do to get some attention around here? I was waiting all night cold, lonely, and sticky. They’re lucky that tape eventually fell off on its own. I could have been stuck for hours. I could have starved to death! It’s as if they don’t even care about me at all.
How dare they be angry with me?!
“Lou,” they told me, “That phone is only for emergencies.” “Lou,” they complain, “You woke me up from a sound sleep for no reason!” “Lou, don’t be so needy.”
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. See if I come to their aid when they ask me for help.
“But Lou,” you exclaim with concern, “this is your staff! Isn’t it important that they devoutly worship you?”
Well of course it is, but it’s not that hard to accomplish. They may be angry with me now but they will quickly regret my supposed transgressions when I turn my charms on them.
I mean, look how majestic I am.
Look at me!
How can you not help but kiss and make up when faced with so much magnificence?
Always managing to come out on top,
Lou
Lou At Pleasant Lake 